adam pacitti

http://thegirlofmydreams.co.uk/story.html

my newtastic story.

i am writing a story (((on quizilla)))
it is called My name is Alexis and I never cry.
yupperdoodle.
i like it.
or rather, i like writing it.
so there.
http://www.quizilla.com/stories/14303857/my-name-is-alexis-and-i-never-cry

my rebellious plot

i have decided upon something.
i am going to do something dangerous, uncalled-for, probably embarrassing, and most definitely AGAINST THE RULES.
i am going to die my hair.
permanently.

i have a problem

i am currently stuck in a very large pickle. and the pickle has a pickle too. most pickles there's a way out, but not my pickle. my pickle must be pregnant or something, cos i'm stuck in this pickle and really have no way of escaping it's vinegar-y depths. well, there's one way.
to let time heal it.
but then again, as tom felton so wisely stated in a song that basically describes my pickle (not exactly, but to an extent), time isn't healing.
so basically i'm stuck in the bottom of a deep, dark pit filled with pickles and my only comfort is listening to the song time isn't healing and knowing that a bunch of other people are screwed too.
because my pickle is the most cliche, most common pickle of all.
i'm in love with someone who doesn't love me back.
who can't love me.
i'm in love with edmund pevensie.
he's fucking fictional. and he's dead.

the quick brown fox jumped over the snoozy dog.

this post is different. there's something wrong with it. not wrong, but there's something not quite right.
let's discuss chickens. my chickens (the ones who live on my property) tend to be difficult to live with. mo is very loud. the morning is the best time to be loud, he thinks. i think he likes the mornings best just to bug us.
did you guess the wrong yet?
no?
you know, i don't get why chickens end up being judged with such cruelty. everyone believes chickens to be DUMB! or FRIGHTENED! or simply un-bold.
would you like to know the wrong?
well, in this post one letter is missing. it isn't used once throughout the entire thing. the letter? guess.

Double-Yoo. Tee. Eff.

So, you know the kajillion mini kids on my bus. Well,
the other day they were having a fight (argument, whatever) and were calling each other really rude names. This Grade Two girl named Katelyn was calling this little kindergarten kid a "Gay Whore". Like, honestly, what the frizbee.

Ah, It starts so young

Today I was thinking about "marrying" and "going out" and "having a crush" for kindergarteners. I remember being a Kindergartener, sorta. I had a "crush" on a boy named Samuel, Sam for short (some things never change). I cannot remember what he looks like, but he surely cannot have been good-looking. This was kindergarten, after all.
Today, a boy in my class had said he got "married" in kindergarten. Upon being asked who his wife was, he answered "I dunno, there were lots". And it's true! When you're in kindergarten, you pretend to hate guys, then pretend you've kissed loads of them and who knows what other dememented shit. The sad thing, it is only the beginning.
On my bus, there are 4 or 5 kindergarteners. One of them is a boy named Hayden. He's cool. Ironically (or maybe not so ironically) his Reading Buddy is the boy from the story above. Anyways. Another of these Kindies is Haley Gray. Might I also note there is only one kindergarten class, and these kids go from being best friends to hated enemies every day.
Hayden was talking with a boy named Connor. Connor is one of Haley Gray's numerous older siblings. I think he's in Grade One. Connor and Hayden were talking about Star Wars (I think) and Hayden was being "Yoga". Not Yoda, Yoga.
During this, Connor told Haley Gray (there are three Haleys on our bus), that Hayden wanted to "go out" with her. I don't know if this is true or not, but Hayden had simply no idea Connor was announcing it.
Haley Gray got mad at them and said they were mean for talking about her.
Hayden was confused. Understandably.
And I thought: wait 'til they're twelve, or fifteen, or twenty.
'Cause if they have relationship problems now...
Wow.

My Tooth Troubles

Today I lost half my tooth. Not the whole tooth, just the half. I have no idea how this happened. What I do know is that there is an empty space where half of my tooth should be, and the adult tooth is showing. There is also another half a tooth still there, at the back, not even a tad bit wiggly. I swear, after this, I'm going to need braces.
This half a tooth had been wiggly for sometime now, but I didn't know it was HALF MY BLOODY TOOTH! I thought it was the whole baby tooth, and half #2 was actually an adult tooth growing in behind it. Obviously I was wrong.
I discovered this while brushing my teeth. I had woken up early this morning (so as to have a shower) and I had a good bit of extra time. I decided I'd give my teeth a nice, proper brushing with that cool multi-coloured blue-and-white-ish whitening toothpaste. I was scrubbing away (a bit roughly, but I obviously went over Wiggler cautiously) when I felt something small and hard floating around in the toothpaste. What I thought was: "That's my tooth isn't it. Bollocks."
So, I had to fish THROUGH THE SPIT-AND-TOOTHPASTE-FILLED MOUTH to get my bloody tooth.
My bloody half a tooth.

I need a dentist.

Dear Margot

Dear Margot,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the mafia wants you. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me outside of Chicago and I saw you pull the clothes off my avocado plant. I'm sure you're high enough to understand how awful I've felt. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep the oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession about Oprah Winfrey imitations.
Good luck on your short term leave from jail,
Cameron

tagged: Margot(Radish)

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Dear _____, (the last person who left a comment on your blog/journal):


I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .




___12___,


-Your name-




Fill in the blanks with choices of answers as below:-


1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk


6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scared
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed


7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks


8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - How awful I've felt
Other - Your memories from the military service


9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college


10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Hate your guts
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked


11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics


12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain